New Beginnings

We often feel like we’re disconnected from the world. We have our routines, we are productive, we do everything we’re supposed to do and even when we do it well, we somehow still feel disconnected.

Part of the new beginning is connection. Connect with others, but also don’t forget to connect with yourself. You always hear the cliché, You can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first. And if you’re like me, you are tired of hearing it. But what’s truly important is knowing yourself and knowing exactly what you want. We follow these maps as if life is fair, as if time has discretion, and as if distance gives us space.

I’ve always been a goal-oriented person and I am determined to get where I want to be in life, but I often get stuck on letting things go. I don’t get attached easily, but once I do, letting go seems impossible. It’s my defense mechanism to put up walls. I’m passive, I taught myself to block things out. New beginnings have given me strength to move on and to give time a chance.

I’m starting a new beginning. Not because it’s 2016 and I need a resolution, not because its Spring and Spring itself is about new beginnings, but because I need emotional relief. Because it’s perfectly okay to decide to set a new goal in the middle of night and because everything I feel is valid. ­­ Landscapes change and maps aren’t these stationary things anymore.

Why do we give ourselves so many restrictions? And why do I feel the need to suppress? People come and go along with opportunities, and changing to respond to all of those things is irrational. I am not a person that fits into a box or single category, nor am I a conformist. I am stubborn and complex with more room to grow. With this new beginning comes confidence and it is one thing that will stay.

-AJ

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